(no subject)

Long time since I've written.. I just got back from my trip from Russia on Monday. I was there for three weeks.. it was soo long. And the trip back was long and painful. I've felt kind of weird the last couple of days. I know that when I go back there I am going to finally learn the language again. It sucks not being able to talk to anyone. I've felt bad for never re-learning it when I've had all this time.

I moved in with Del a week before I went on vacation. It's been pretty nice living on our own.. I haven't had a job in over a month so it's been nice.. I have to go look for one Monday though.. I really don't want to though because I've enjoyed being lazy lol.

We don't have a computer yet so I probably won't be updating a lot right now..

(no subject)

So I'm moving out of my house tomorrow.. I also quit my job today. And I'm bawling my eyes out for some reason.. I really wanted to move out and everything.. it's just kind of hard. I'm finally leaving where I grew up. I've never lived with a guy either.. I hope it will be okay. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I just need to be comforted right now.

(no subject)

WOW, it's been a long time! I get lazy about writing in this thing haha. A lot of things of happened in the past couple of months.

I'm finally moving out this upcoming Monday! I'm really excited, yet kind of nervous. I thought that the day would never come but it finally has. It all feels so real now. We found an apartment in Valparaiso which is about 40 minutes away from where I live now. My mom was upset at first that I was moving so far. I think she wanted me to stay in the same town. She's having a hard time letting go. But I'm almost 20 years old and I need my independence. It's going to suck driving to school because it's 40 minutes away but it's only twice a week. I hope the gas prices will go down =\

It was very difficult finding an apartment.. especially one that allows dogs. We managed to find one that's only $520 a month and they allow dogs. The only thing about it is that it's really small. We'll have to deal for awhile I guess. I'm just not looking forward to the actual moving part.. lol. I'm so lazy.

I did get my Boston Terrier puppy three weeks ago. He is the cutest thing in the world and I love him. He's so smart and playful. He's about 10 weeks old now.

So a lot of new things will be happening soon.. which great because I need a change like you can't believe. I'm just so sick of living in the same area and having to look at the same people. I'm also leaving for Russia in two weeks. I'll be gone for three weeks. I'm excited about that too.

And I'm finally quitting my job! I've been there almost two and a half years and I'm finally out of there. My parents kept telling it was dumbest thing to quit a union job. First of all, I work at a fucking grocery store that pays $6.50 an hour. It's not like I'm making this great money there. I'd rather find a job that pays a little more and one that I can actually tolerate. It's like they don't want to support me in these kind of things and let me do what makes ME happy. I hated that job.

Well, that's all for now. I'll try to update more often.

(no subject)

I haven't posted in awhile.. I guess I haven't felt like it. I'm sitting at school right now.. bored.. so I figured I would post.

Thank God the weather is getting some what warmer.. not warm enough though. This has been a ridiculously cold winter. It feels like it will never end. It's still too cold for March and April is almost here. I am so tired of being cold. I want 80 degree weather to come :(

I'm finally going to Russia this summer because we just recieved our passports. We're going in June for three months. I'm really excited, just not for the travel part. Haha. I haven't been there in four years so it will be quite different.

I told my mom that I'm moving in with Del in the summer and she actually took it well. I was afraid she would be upset and lecture me about all the reasons I shouldn't move out. So that's good. I'm glad I got it off my chest because it was really bothering me. We're also getting a Boston Terrier puppy! I am so excited. He was just born like two weeks ago and we're going to see him in like a week. We get to take him home at the end of May :)

So, there are a lot of things I am looking forward too.. finally. These past few months have really sucked for me.. mostly because of the cold weather. And I was doing the same thing every day and I was bored.

I am glad when I will finally quit my job. I was hoping that would happen by now, but I haven't had the best of luck finding a job. It really discouraged me. There are so many shitty people at my job though and I am sick of it. There are so many people that tell on you if you're doing something wrong. How fucked up is that? It's none of their concern what I do because it doesn't affect them. I'm thinking about just quitting right before I go to Russia. I hope I don't have too much trouble finding a job I can tolerate though. I hate work.

(no subject)

I haven't updated in awhile. I just haven't felt like it I guess.

In a week it will be March! I checked the weather forecast and it's still supposed to be kind of cold :\ Oh, God, will I have to wait until the middle of March for it to finally start warming up? I just really can't wait anymore. I know that I will be in a much better mood when the weather warms up. The cold weather just makes me not motivated to do anything. I even don't go to some classes because it puts me in such a bad mood.

I went and got my hair dyed at a salon.. it's so different now. It used to be really dark brown and now it's like a light reddish brown. I think in about a month I'm going to go back and get it dyed a golden blonde. I really need a change. I think it will look pretty.

I've been working out a lot and eating better for the most part. But I'm not losing weight. I lost 2-3 lbs one week and then gained it back. I don't really know what's going on. Before when I wanted to lose weight I just cut back a little on the eating but still ate mostly what I wanted and excercised a bit. I still lost weight. I wonder if it's because of the birth control. I wonder if it's slowing down my metabolism. It's really making me worry.

I still have not gotten a new job yet.. it's so frustrating. I had an interview at Friday's last week but I still haven't gotten a call back. She said to call Wednesday if I didn't hear anything. I'm going to go apply at more places this week.

I'm really excited about moving out this spring. I'm still really nervous about telling my mom though. I wonder how she will react. I think I'll tell her sometime next month. I'm really dreading it. Del and I are getting a puppy though! A boston terrier. He called this breeder yesterday and she said that her dog is having a litter of puppies on March 29. She sells them when they're 9 weeks old. And it's only going to be $500.00! I'm really excited.

(no subject)

It's sooo cold out today. Like 2 degrees. Pleaseee make the cold weather end, I can't take much more of this.

I am excited about Valentine's Day though. I know Del bought me a nice present and we're going to a nice restaurant. We're doing all of that this Friday. And by then February will be halfway over.

I really want to graduate in two years and I figured out how many classes I have to take a semester to do that. I thankfully figured out that I really want to go into public relations. So my major is set haha. I'm going to be taking a summer class this year.. it's a food and nutrition class so I'll probably like it. It only lasts from like May 12 to June 7 so it won't be bad. And I'll have to take a summer class next year too. And then I have to decide if it will really be worth having a minor. That will require more classes. I really screwed myself by taking a couple of pyschology classes because I really wasn't sure what I wanted to do. And I should have taken 5 classes last year instead of 4. I'll either have a minor in marketing or english if I choose to do so. That will mean for the next two years I'll be taking 6 classes a semester! I don't know if I can do it.. it'll be a lot of work. But I think it will be worth because the sooner I finish the sooner I can move somewhere warm!

I'm really set on getting a new job. Last week I went into TGI Friday's and filled out an application for a hostess position. The manager asked me a few questions and said to call him back today if I didn't hear anything back from the other manager yet. I'm going to be doing that shortly so wish me luck. I would really like to work there. And I think I would also like to start serving after being a hostess for a couple of months. I've never done it before and it kind of makes me nervous but it is the only way right now that I can make any real money. Tomorrow I'm also going to apply at some other restaurants. I just have to get a new job soon.

I've been working out every day for 2 weeks now. I think I'm kind of seeing a change. I really want to tone my body a lot for the summer. I think I need to do more cardio though. I have a treadmill at home but I need to use it longer. I think I should go on it for 30 minutes every day. I just get so bored. There's no tv in the basement and I just listen to music.

Well I gotta get to class!

(no subject)

I came home early from school today because it started to snow and I just didn't feel like staying because I was in a bad mood. It was raining this morning and then it turned into snow. Lovely. I am so fucking tired of this weather that I could vomit.

This winter has been so hard for me this year. I have never met anyone who is affected more by the weather than I am. That's why I have to finish up school quickly so I could move somewhere warm. I fucking hate this. I'm almost always in a shitty mood these days and I'm sick of it. Why does spring always take forever to come?

I don't have much motivation to do anything. I'm being kind of lazy in school right now. I just want to lay in bed all day.

I have been exercising a lot lately though. I go on the tread mill every day and then I do different ab exercises, lunges, squats, etc. Del and I have also been going to the gym one or two days a week. I'm really motivated to get a really toned body. I gained a few pounds and I'm not sure if it's from the birth control or not. I just really want to lose it and tone up A LOT. Even when I used to weight less I wasn't really toned, therefore I wasn't completely happy with my body. It's been kind of hard with eating though. I love food and I crave a lot of fattening shit. I've been decent the past week though. I'm trying to eat a high protein diet so I don't hungry easily.

I'm looking forward to Valentine's Day and that's about it. I'm going to spoil myself with chocolate.

I'm still stuck at my job. It really depresses me. I had an interview with Family Video last week and they chose another person :[. It really upset me because I really thought I had it. It makes me think that I won't ever be able to get an actual job I like because there will always be someone more qualified than I am. I don't want to be stuck working these shitty jobs. If I don't get a new job soon I really think I will lose it.

I just really need a change.. my life is just not that great right now. I'm going to the salon soon to change my hair color. It's been dark brown for awhile and I want a change. I really want to dye it auburn. I also want to get a facial, pedicure, and start tanning again. Lots of $$$. Haha.

Well, tonight is mostly going to consist of watching tv.. I need to cheer myself up somehow.

(no subject)

I'm sitting here at school trying to kill some time. I really wish I didn't choose to go to school two days a week. I have four classes in a row, an hour and a half break, and then I have one more class. It's so long and tedious. I have a very short attention span lol. I hope that I can keep myself from going home early too many times. I really don't want to take five classes anymore because it's too time consuming. I want to take only four next time but it will take me a lot longer to finish then.

I had to go in yesterday and take my skills test for Family Video. It was a lot harder than you would think. They have it set up like a standarized test. I was given a certain amount of time to do each section. There was a lot of math.. which I'm not good at. They had complicated math word problems with a lot of percents. You also had to divide fractions which I totally forgot how to do. I luckily passed though.. I was really worried that I might not have. They're supposed to call me back sometime today to set up another interview. I also want to sign up to switch positions at my job to the bakery. They're supposed to put up a sign up sheet for it sometime this week.

I also filled out an application last week at Macy's to work at one of the make-up counters. I saw on-line yesterday that they are looking for a sales associate. I might go to the mall tomorrow and check that out too. Too many decisions...lol. I don't know how to pick.

Well.. I'm going to go try to find something else to do before my class starts.

(no subject)

I don't know how much more of this freezing weather I can take. I just want to cry and stay inside. This has been such a brutal winter. It's also been snowing a lot. I need to move far away. Somewhere warm. I can't do that until I graduate though. I bitch and moan about the weather every day and I think it just makes it worse. I hate this weather so bad that I don't even want to drive out to CVS that's like 2 minutes away. I hope it ends soon or I don't what I will do with myself..

I really hate work too. I dread going in every day and I want to kill customers while I'm there. Hopefully I'll be getting out of there very soon. I had an interview with Family Video yesterday and I have to go in Sunday for a skills test. I also want to switch positions at the job I'm working now. I want to work in the bakery. I'm planning on working both jobs if they work around my schedule. I know that might be tough with me going to school.. but I really think I will at least like those jobs and the money will be nice. I just can't bare my job any longer. Once it starts getting warm out and I get my other job I think I will be 100 percent happier.

I'm going to see The Bucket List with Del in a little bit. I really need a movie to cheer me up. It's cold and snowing outside though and it kind of makes me not want to go. I can't believe the cold affects my mood this much..
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(no subject)

I hate this cold weather. I fucking hate it. I really don't know how much more of it I can take. Maybe I'm being over-dramatic, but this just proves how much I hate it. I hate even going outside briefly. I always have to park at the farthest parking spots at school and my classes are at the other end. I'm thinking about just parking in the handicapped spots. And to think that last week it was in the 60's. Fucking unbelievable.

Yesterday I didn't step foot out of the house. I layed in bed and watched tv and I excercised. I really wish that I didn't have to step foot out of my house until the middle of March. That would make me happy. Unfortunetely, I really can't do that. And sadly, the only things that make me happy right now are food and sleep. I just want it all to end. That is why I need to move somewhere warm as soon as possible. At least January is halfway over.

I started classes this week. They all seem pretty okay. I go Monday's and Wednesday's. I go from 9:30 am to 3:20 pm. I then have a break and have my other class at 5:00 pm. So I'm at school pretty much all day. I just hope I get over my depression a little bit so I can do well in my class. I just don't have the motivation to do anything anymore..

Well, I've been searching for a new job. One of the places actually called me two days after I applied for an interview. I have an interview this Friday with Lowe's. I hope that it's a decent job and pays me a bit more. I'm just so sick of working these bullshit jobs that hardly pay me anything. I'm desperate to graduate. I don't even want to work when I get there because I feel that no where right now will pay me enough to care about doing my job.

I really hope things get better soon..